Does sexual history affect marital happiness?

Let’s settle the debate once and for all

The relationship between one’s sexual past and post-marital happiness is a complicated one that finds itself at the center of much debate. One school of thought believes that fewer sexual partners before the wedding can conclude in greater happiness after the marriage. Others have cause to believe that being sexually active before getting married will help you understand yourself and your needs better, thereby guaranteeing greater satisfaction in the bedroom. So, which one is right and does your history of sexual partners have any bearing on your post-marital life between the sheets? Here’s what science would like you to know.

The relationship between sexual history and marital happiness: explained

If you are confused about which school of thought has managed to crack the secret to marital bliss, it helps to take into consideration what the world of science has to say about it. If you were rooting for the latter, we are afraid that sociology has some disappointing news to report: those who only ever sleep with their spouses are likely to be very happy in their married life. Further analysis has discovered that they are less likely to divorce as they are more likely to value commitment more highly. The scale slowly slides lower for women with multiple partners — those with six to ten sexual partners report 8% less happiness as compared to one-partner women.

In a quest to find the link between sexual history and marital happiness, researchers dove deeper to find the link between the two. The common consensus that emerged was that when you’ve only been with one person all your life, you have little to compare them with. While having an active sexual history would help you understand yourself better, it can also cause you to be more critical subconsciously of the partner you end up spending your life with.

However, it pays to note that this is the most straightforward conclusion to be drawn from the data. Read between the lines and you’ll find that a more accurate analysis would be that women with one-partner marriages are happier than others, but not by much. Is a chance at eight per cent greater marital happiness enough for you to only sleep with one person? The answer would differ for everyone based on their unique life experiences. It also helps to understand that marital happiness might not be the end goal for everyone, many can find their satisfaction in premarital sex and that might be enough for them.

Should you disclose your sexual past to your partner before marriage?

Which brings us to the other big question: should you reveal your sexual history to your spouse? Again, there are compelling reasons both, for and against. On one hand, you shouldn’t feel obligated to reveal everything about your past. Is it necessary to allow what happened in the past to intrude on the present? Is there a chance that it would open the door to pointless comparison and envy? Many women choose to refrain from discussing their past and are justified in doing so.

However, on the other side of the fence, revealing your sexual history could be a crucial element for building trust in the bedroom. It is essential to understand that, as adults, everyone has a past and it may not necessarily define who you are in the present. It is a reasonable expectation in a relationship to be able to share your past experiences without feeling judged for the same. The end goal then becomes finding a way to build enough trust that you feel comfortable sharing your past experiences with your partner without having to worry how they will react to your confession.

The Takeaway

At the end of the day, there is no one clear-cut route to marital happiness. What worked for your best friend might not work for you, and vice versa. There aren’t any shortcuts to success, you and your partner will both have to put in the work to discover what works for both of you. Don’t fret about any physical setbacks in the bedroom either; as long as the channels of communication are open, you’ll will be able to find a way to work together and build a happy married life.